xXxMorbidAngelxXx

little drops of oil make rainbows on wet concrete and i don’t know how beautiful you find that, but sometimes you gotta learn that the littlest things are the prettiest, like the shape of your fingernails and the crinkles you get at the corner of your eyes when you laugh and when you grow old and i know i said “grow old” like it’s a temporary thing, but that’s because it is. you can think it’s forever but it’s really a split second because you don’t matter, not when the universe is still growing and speeding through a nothingness we can’t even fathom, not when color doesn’t exis

she says, “what are humans made out of, if not emotions and quirks and mistakes?” i think to myself that humans are made out of sinew and bone and tissue and if god hasn’t found a way to love us bloodily and morbidly then he will never be able to look past any of our self-taught imperfections. but i say none of this, just nod and smile, and wonder what it means that to her, all that i am is a series of mistakes stacked on top of each other. my entire body is a past i cannot outrun no matter how many times i move away and forget my name and who i used to be. she tries to take away my body, but i have fought for sixteen yea

There is a monster who resides in the place between my skin and bone. No one can see Him moving through me, or the battle we face. Ongoing. Doctors call Him Borderline People call Him crazy I call Him monster When I speak with Him at night He is like gasoline to flame; a daredevil, thrill seeking beast, who feels everything in extremes. Continuing to drag me down. Love; Hate; Love; Hate; Love. Secure; Insecure; Secure; Insecure; Secure. Hero; Villain; Hero; Villain; Hero. Empathy; Empathy; Empathy; Empathy. I hate you; Don't leave me.

When the love I’ve searched for like a child digging through weeds for a four-leaf clover rests upon your lips gently like pollen on a petal or on the tip of your pen as you pour out what you can’t say out loud. How am I to pretend I’ve not found the one four-leaf clover in a field of three-leafed ones when I hear your voice shake minor rifts on the Richter scale during chance run ins. Or the imagery you write in our colors under the moon’s glow while he snores beside you. You gave away midnight powwows Gatsby parties for two and carpe noctem the day you cinched yourself with a golden corset around your finger. I

I’m a ship inside a liquor bottle. Manned by the ghost deck hands, of the skeletons in my closet. Long since wrecked and abandoned, by the currents of my past. Led here by the trade winds of your sweet, strawberry breath. Deceived by the lying Polaris of your entrancing smile. Your gifted spyglass neglected to tell of rocky shores Capsized, overturned, sunken, forced down, shipwrecked, into the lonely grave of my fragile glass prison.

Water and steam swirl in a shroud, emphasizing the coldness of the air, as I let the water fall. And wash away the night before. And wash away my trademark scent of cloves, cologne, mint, and vodka. Though some things can't be washed away. I turn the hot tap up further. The water stings my shoulders, my back, and my chest, like alcohol cleansing a wound. As the increasing steam turns the shower into a gas chamber, and I fight to find small pockets of oxygen. Maybe I can snuff you out of my lungs this way? I turn the hot tap up further. My skin is red and my knees go weak. As I search for my mind in hide and seek, but I know I left it in t

“You’ve been to hell and back,” she said, as her fingers traced the civil war grounds of my shoulders.   “And you’re still here,” she continued, as her eyes found mine, filled with understanding.   “I don’t see how that makes you crazy,” she finished, with a smile   on her ruby lips.   “I love you,” was all I could reply, unsure of this tenderness concerning my scar covered skin.   “Just don’t cut yourself anymore?” she asked, right before her mouth met mine. "I wish you saw what I see in you.”  

I live to read the Braille of your body. Tracing each word with the tip of my tongue, carefully, precisely, in all the right places. B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.   ⠃⠑⠁⠥⠞⠊⠋⠥⠇ S.E.X.Y. ⠠⠎⠠⠑⠠⠭⠠⠽ P.O.W.E.R.F.U.L. ⠠⠏⠠⠕⠠⠺⠠⠑⠠⠗⠠⠋⠠⠥⠠⠇ I.N.T.O.X.I.C.A.T.I.N.G. ⠠⠊⠠⠝⠠⠞⠠⠕⠠⠭⠠⠊⠠⠉⠠⠁⠠⠞⠠⠊⠠⠝&

For the love I hold and present to you Show me the best and worst parts you hold With eyes glittering, heart of gold And to give you all this happiness as we watch it unfold Dancing into the night as the sun grows old